Ugh! I am in a rut! I am not sure how helpfully this post will be today. If anything I just want outher momma's out there to know that they are not alone when they feel they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. I am just having a frusterating go of it lately. My husband has to work 3rd shift for 2 weeks in a row (they are remolding his place of work so he has to be there to supervise things.)It really makes it difficult to homeschool AND keep a 2 year old quiet while he is sleeping during the day! This winter weather is also taking a toll on me. I have dreams of spring and planting gardens and flowers and even, gasp!, Spring Cleaning! I know I think I have lost my mind! We are also waiting to file taxes and school is getting very frustrating as well! We have to testing called NWEA tests, that the school just sprung on us and it can be difficult with tech issues and trying to get the tests done in time. For some reason they want these tests done by the end of January. Two of my children were supposed to take the test today but the whole system crashed so now we have to do it another day. Some days I just feel frazzled! I have so much that I am wanting to get done and it just isn't happening as fast as I would like them too! (I have always been one who needs work with patience. I want things done and I want them done now!) Sometimes I just feel like God keeps reminding me of all the things that I need to work on with myself. I have Momma anger that I am working on. I hate how short tempered I am. I don't remember being like that. Sometimes I feel like I have lost the person that I once was and I am trying to find that person, or remnants of that person. When I was in high school my friend's family called me "Giggles," and "Smiley," because I was always happy, giggling, and smiley. I know that I have changed who I m since then, but where is that happiness. I understand that life is hard and can change people but have I lost myself completely? I am not the person that I used to be and that is a great thing, but sometimes it seems like something is missing. I have tried taking on some hobbies which has helped but I really think that it boils down to my thinking. I have a terrible habitat of being my own worst critic. I am trying to use more positive thinking and trying to find positives in all the negativity. I am a perfectionist so it is hard for me when things don't go the way that I plan. I know that this stressful time in my life will get better. Self help is never an easy process but it is necessary, not just for me but to benefit my family as well. I am not use to them if I am a wreck!As my one friend Jodie says "This too, shall pass!"
I looked forward to hearing from you guys. If you have any suggestions on topics you would like to hear about feel free to comment below! :)
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