Mommy Mondays - Mommy Meltdowns! 1-27-14

Ugh! I am in a rut! I am not sure how helpfully this post will be today. If anything I just want outher momma's out there to know that they are not alone when they feel they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. I am just having a frusterating go of it lately. My husband has to work 3rd shift for 2 weeks in a row (they are remolding his place of work so he has to be there to supervise things.)It really makes it difficult to homeschool AND keep a 2 year old quiet while he is sleeping during the day! This winter weather is also taking a toll on me. I have dreams of spring and planting gardens and flowers and even, gasp!, Spring Cleaning! I know I think I have lost my mind! We are also waiting to file taxes and school is getting very frustrating as well! We have to testing called NWEA tests, that the school just sprung on us and it can be difficult with tech issues and trying to get the tests done in time. For some reason they want these tests done by the end of January. Two of my children were supposed to take the test today but the whole system crashed so now we have to do it another day. Some days I just feel frazzled! I have so much that I am wanting to get done and it just isn't happening as fast as I would like them too! (I have always been one who needs work with patience. I want things done and I want them done now!) Sometimes I just feel like God keeps reminding me of all the things that I need to work on with myself. I have Momma anger that I am working on. I hate how short tempered I am. I don't remember being like that. Sometimes I feel like I have lost the person that I once was and I am trying to find that person, or remnants of that person. When I was in high school my friend's family called me "Giggles," and "Smiley," because I was always happy, giggling, and smiley. I know that I have changed who I m since then, but where is that happiness. I understand that life is hard and can change people but have I lost myself completely? I am not the person that I used to be and that is a great thing, but sometimes it seems like something is missing. I have tried taking on some hobbies which has helped but I really think that it boils down to my thinking. I have a terrible habitat of being my own worst critic. I am trying to use more positive thinking and trying to find positives in all the negativity. I am a perfectionist so it is hard for me when things don't go the way that I plan. I know that this stressful time in my life will get better. Self help is never an easy process but it is necessary, not just for me but to benefit my family as well. I am not use to them if I am a wreck!As my one friend Jodie says "This too, shall pass!"

I looked forward to hearing from you guys. If you have any suggestions on topics you would like to hear about feel free to comment below! :)

Mommy Mondays (late post! sorry!) 1-13-14 - Sharing the love!

Mommy Monday's 1-6-14

Lilah - Bean :)

So this is my littlest. Her name is Lilah. (pronounced: Lie-la) She is 2 and if you can't tell from the picture, she is a lively little girl. I hadn't planned on having 5 kids and finding out that I was pregnant with her was, well, kinda shocking. I love being a mom but I really hadn't planned on having anymore children. I am glad that I have her though. When she was born we nick-named her "Bean." It stuck with her and while she knows her name she will still respond to "Bean!" All of my girls have been strong willed spirits and Lilah is no exception.

She has just recently learned to say "come on" and "sit down" which she loves to yell at me and her siblings. She is just so full of life and pretty much a happy little girl. Just like most women and girls though she has another side. Her little diva side. Oh yes! Don't let that cute smile and head full of curls fool you! She can throw a tantrum like no body's business. She is also a screamer. With my other daughter, Natalie, she wold have tantrums but luckily not in public. She had an image to protect! Not my Bean! The more people look at her the better! At least in her eyes! Nothing better that a violent, screaming, flailing little 2 year old in the middle of Wal-Mart during holiday shopping! With this said we enter toilet training. Or in my case - lack there of! I want her to be out of diapers, but she just won't have it. Oh she'll sit there and smile at me, she'll say "bye, bye poop" when her siblings use the potty, but her herself? Nothing, Nada! I even caught her standing next to the Christmas tree, squatting, red faced and grunting. When I asked her if she was going potty she responded with her favorite word "No!" of course not, don't believe your lying eyes mommy! I have tried and tried with her but she just refuses to go. Oh she'll sit there and smile at me. She'll say "Bye,Bye Poo!," to her siblings when they flush. But that's it. It was so easy with the boys! I just lunched a Cheerio in there and they fire away. They weren't afraid of the toilet even when they needed to sit down on it! My girls? My girls must think that It (you know from Stephen King's It) lives in the toilet or something. Not only won't she go, but she doesn't let me change her diaper. Nothing is simple with her, unless she approves of your actions. She's kinda of like a cat, except cats don't yell at you, or throw temper tantrums! :) Tomorrows post is Teaching Tuesdays!